There is a great mystery, that a lot of us seek, and then there is a great mystery that I seek. Everyday, as I eat, I walk, sit, and sleep, as I breathe and as I see, I remember more and more memories of my brother, and yet more memories revealed to me through others. Together, these like pearls of a necklace, helping me see my brother, from his past, to what his future would have been, to that one moment….that forever remains his never ending present, the last moment when I saw him. This last moment was very much alive, breathing, even though his body was not, and then it all snapped…like a gush of ocean wave larger and more powerful than you, engulfing you with the truth of your own body.
The clock has stopped, but it is still ticking. It is illusion, its maya. Its senseless sensation. Its nothing in everything and everything in nothing. Sense of time, but now…its endless and eternal. There is no rush, for there is eternity at my hand, and yet, I cannot afford to loose time, because I wish to finish my work while I can. To learn what I came here to learn, to inherently ingrain it in my conciousness, so I can learn more and more, until it snaps again, like a gush of ocean wave larger and more powerful than you, engulfing you and reducing your body to absolutely nothing. Zero.
In the past, I was feeding myself for future sometimes, sometime for the present. Today, I had a Strawberry Banana Smoothie, in my brother’s name.