Yesterday, I got those big headphones to use with the iPod. The cushiony one, the bulky one. I have my brother’s iPod. He had a particular enchantment for Lucky Ali’s songs. I haven’t been able to stop listening to the Lucky Ali songs on this iPod since I got this headphone. There is a particular song besides all the songs of Lucky Ali he likes, that I have been listening to over and over again. This song is titled Tu Kaun Hai (translates Who are you?). The song seems to be singing about this life force that pervades all living things. It is presenting this life force as something mysterious, something that we cannot see, yet that remains in our breath.
The video is mixed with shots from a movie about Bhopal Tragedy. Ironically, me and my brother were born in a city near Bhopal and often had our summers in that state. This tragedy happened ion December 2-3, 1984. My brother was born a month later on January 2, 1985. I am sure there is no correlation apparent to this tragedy and my brother’s birth. After his passing away, however, somehow with his interest in music and me listening to it afterwards, particularly this song makes me feel like that there must have been some correlation. My mother in her last month of pregnancy, so much stress in that state due to this tragedy, and the way my brother was born. Bhopal is three hours away from where we were born.
My brother lovingly gave his iPod to me when I had visited Bharat in 2007 to listen to as I revisit the motherland before I take over the oath of allegiance to the USA. After he passed away, I did not know where this prized possession of his was. He would listen to his iPod, day and night, in the car, with these big headphones. That was his thing to do. I feel that there is a really sweet connection of my brother with this device and I found it one day in his bag in his room. I never really became interested in the bulky headphones, until now, when I started listening to his iPod in order to connect with his mindset on music. His taste was so varied with music, very refined and high level, that I still to this day cannot fathom it. I cannot listen to all of what he has on his iPod to hear what he heard. But sometimes music that he really cherished, such as Lucky Ali’s songs, I can listen to. When I listen to his iPod, flashes of him listening to it pass through my memory and it makes me feel like may be he is listening to his music through me. It makes him in many ways Alive again.